An Ex-Military Man is Stalking Me--in My Bathroom

I think it's time for more hidden pictures from my bathroom art.

Basically, I have this nice, cheery floral painting hanging in my bathroom. But, it's got all these hidden people in it watching me. The first one I noticed was an alien. (click here to see it.)

Then I noticed someone else. I don't know exactly what to call him other than an Ex-Marine-KGB-Men-in-Black-Spy Guy. Can you see him? He's in the upper right quadrant.

I'll zoom in.

See what I'm talking about?! He's got a short crew-cut, dark glasses (probably Ray bans), and a red nose. He bugs me. The alien was bad enough, but now this guy? 

Who knew that one piece of art could be so haunted? There is one more person in that painting I've been able to locate. I'll have to save her for another day.

Do you have any art in your house that gives you the creeps?

Winner!! Limerick Pitch Contest

After a crazy night of voting, we have a winner!

Brooke Emery! Who wrote number 11, the Twilight limerick.

Congratulations!!!
Don't forget to come back and play again next year.

Thanks a million to everyone who entered!

Voting ends on Sunday, March 18th. Winner will be announced Monday, March 19th.

Here they are: Update** I added the names of the books.

#1 (Carrie)
I'll think of something, I will!
Just don't my mama you tell.
She thought I was a spawn
And satan's hideous pawn
All because I sent my friends to a fiery, um, outer darkness.

#2 (original novel)
Dear Agent, I have a cool story,
Sometimes scary and a little bit gory.
This kid meets some Vikings
(could this be to your liking?)
And together they seek fame and glory.

#3 (The Hunger Games)
A fight to the death it must be
For the tributes to gain victory.
Only one can survive
So what a surprise
When both of them won, yippee!

#4 (original novel)
A boy's on the coast with his auntie,
Who keeps him out back in a shanty.
He must find--with his tutor,
And a mouse (what is cuter?)--
A lost will. Can he do it or can't he?

#5 (Gone with the Wind)
Her mammy was all in a dither,
She wouldn't eat a bite of her dinner.
She didn't want to burp,
On Ashley (that jerk!)
And end up an old Southern Spinster.

#6 (Origami Yoda, written by my 10 year old daughter)
I love Origami Yoda
I think he drinks soda
Origami Yoda can tell the future
It's not normal nature
I like reading it on the sofa.

#7 (original novel, sort of)
The police looked far and wide
For the person that could hide
But they could not find
And were in a bind
As the killer laughed from the side

#8 (Lord of the Rings)
Through all the folk and lore
One had to "walk to Mordor"
The ring they had
It was very bad
They had to for the war

#9 (Narcissus)
Narcissus’ heart was in pain
In love with himself again
He could not look away
Until his dying day
And thus the demise of the vain!

#10 (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs)
There’s a place where it rained from the sky
Spaghetti, French toast and pie!
The town was aflutter
‘Till a large mold of butter
Flattened them straight as a tie.

#11 (Twilight Saga)
The writing was mediocre and dry
Still Bella and Edward were fly
Until they had a baby
And it got so dumb crazy
All its readers just wanted to die.

#12 (The Grapes of Wrath)
When the dust storms done ruined their land
And from their home the bank had them banned
The Joads headed for Cali
To pick fruit in the valley
But nothing went as they had planned

#13 (The Odyssey)
Odysseus took off for Troy
Leaving his wife and his boy
Took twenty years to get back
His wife's suitors to hack
Yes, this tale's just loaded with joy.

#14 (Moby Dick)
Dear Agent, please read my tale,
'Bout a guy who was called Ishmael
Sailing on the Pequod
Ahab's leg had been gnawed
So he's seeking revenge on that whale


Voting is closed. We received 40 votes.

Please select the number of your favorite limerick.

1234567891011121314

pollcode.com free polls

All those not labeled original novel are from well known stories. Can you name them? Feel free to add your own limerick to the comments.

Don't forget to come back and play again next year!

Limerick Pitch Contest

Announcing the first annual

Limerick Pitch Contest

What better way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day! All you have to do is come up with a pitch for your book in the form of a limerick.

What is a limerick? It's a short poem (usually funny and nonsensical but it doesn't have to be) consisting of 5 lines with the rhyming pattern AABBA and with a definite rhythm of 33223 beats per line, respectively.

Example:

Here's a quick one for Harry Potter:

The Death Eaters seek Harry's demise,

With his wand Harry fights and he tries

To avoid getting hurt,

But then **spoiler alert**

The evil Lord Voldemort dies.

Get the idea? 

Here is your task:

Write a limerick pitch for your book--OR--a limerick for a popular book you've read. (That way you can play even if your not a novelist.)

Email me your limerick--julie[at]juliedaines[dot]com--with the word limerick in the subject line. 

On St. Patrick's Day, March 17, I will post them anonymously for voting. Don't forget to come back and vote!!

The winner will receive a $15 gift certificate to Amazon. YEAH!! That's a free book, people!

Here are a few more examples. On the internet I found this. Recognize it?

A mountain man, steadfast and true,

Was shooting his gun at some food.

He hit oil instead

And moved his homestead

To Beverly Hills, 902'.

And this:

Won't you join me in non-PC fun?
We shall count little male Indians
We will count them to ten
And then count down again
Until we are left with just one.

And does anyone recognize this one?

"Poor Mariner, ruined and wrecked
Are you wiser for taking your trek?"
"Yes, I learned not to cross
Any old albatross
That happens to poop on my deck."

Rules: I don't have a lot, I want this to be fun. It would be nice if you followed me, and it would be awesome if you spread the word since I probably should have started this on Monday. But those are optional.

The cutoff for limerick entries is Friday, March 16 at midnight. I'll leave the voting open over the weekend and announce a winner on Monday, March 19.

Important Life Lessons Everyone Should Know

Lately I've been watching the TV show Supernatural. All the old episodes are on Netflix.

The problem is, my husband has been out of town, and I end up watching them late at night when the rest of the house is asleep. Not such a good idea because some of these episodes are freaking scary.

I couldn't look in the mirror after watching Bloody Mary. And all my kids have to do while we're out driving is say, "Mom, is that a scarecrow in that orchard?" and they know I'll cover my eyes and scream. I find myself constantly glancing over my shoulder.

On the other hand, I've learned many important lessons from this show, and that is what I want to pass on to my readers:

~ If something creepy is after you, it will ALWAYS sneak up from behind. And usually from the direction you were just looking a moment ago. Watch your back.

~ The surest way to meet something scary is to split up. People of the movies, when will you ever learn?

~ Never leave any part of your body exposed outside of the covers. The covers are your friends, stay under them.

~ If you hear a strange noise coming from your closet (or the room down the hall, or--heaven forbid--from the cellar) DO NOT CHECK IT OUT. I repeat, do NOT slowly and hesitantly approach the sound, especially if the lights won't turn on and there is intense, unsettling music playing in the background.

~ Never back up to a window. Inevitably the creature/demon/zombie/evil clown/vampire will break the glass and grab you.

~ Salt is your friend, keep it close. Silver or lead blades are also recommended, but harder to take on airplanes.

I know these are only the very basics, and there are lots of other important life lessons out there, but I hope you find these useful when you are home alone late at night and it's dark and eerie outside. They help me.

What important tips can you share?

It Is With Great Honor...

That I accept this lovely blog award:

Awarded to me by my new blogging and writing friend, Erin Shakespear! (With a name like that, we know she's gotta be an awesome writer!) Thank you Erin.

And now, as with all awards, I must mention seven things about myself that are meant to entertain. However, the truth is, I've written the most interesting things in my life already.

Click on "The Story of Me" tab above, and scroll down past the boring bio to find the list of crazy things I've done. And some are pretty crazy!

Now, to pass on the award. The new recipients of the Kreative Blogger Award are:

Peggy Eddleman
Erin Summerill
Scribble by Moonlight
The Sands of Writing
Open Writer, Closet Nerd
{Unwritten}
The Writing Nut